Hello everyone,
I hope 2015 is treating you well so far. For me, it has been okay, nothing too exciting. Honestly, I wish I could go back to 2014 just so I could enjoy the times with my friends (not for the HSC!!).
Anyways, so this is the first post of my 'Chit Chats with Prit' series. The reason why I did not post something in this series straight away was because I couldn't really think of a proper topic to start off with. Nonetheless, I thought that maybe I should start off with something that I can properly relate to as it has affected my life significantly. Just before I start this post off, I just want to make it clear that I have no intention of seeking any sort of sympathetic attention from anyone. The reason for this series is just so I can speak about certain topics which other people and myself may be facing and maybe help those who may be going through a rough time. I also want to use this space as a place where I can speak and clear my mind.
Standards is something which we all come across at some point in our lives. The expectations of people and society can be really daunting and uncomfortable. I guess it just depends on an individuals will power as to how they let standards and expectations affect them. Speaking from experience, and to be very frank, I do not have the essential will power to not let these standards and expectations effect me.
There are a couple of people in my life who are constantly eyeing my family and I regarding what we do, how we act and basically everything. They do not leave a chance to comment on our lives as they believe we are not abiding by THEIR standards and expectations. There was a point last year where I was told by my school counscellor that I am suffering from anxiety due to these people. Trying to follow standards and live up to expectations caused me to not be able to concentrate on my studies and thus it resulted in multiple breakdowns. It goes to show that I am not able to control my thoughts which has resulted in living up to standards and expectations a habit in my life.
I have found that, I have tried living up to EVERYONE'S standards and expectations in my life. Whether that is my parents, family and even friends. Are you the type of person who tries their hardest to make one person happy if they don't like them even though there are about another hundred or so who do you like you? If so, then join the club. I am also that person. I know that there are many people out there who like me for who I am, however, I do tend to run after those who don't like me. Again, it has become a habit.
I have found that because I have been trying to live up to everyone's standards, I have lost who I truly am. Frankly speaking, till this day I still do not know what my personality is and the type of person I am. I cannot define myself. I cannot say that "oh this is me". Why? Because I have so many standards built inside of me.
I do not know if there are other people out there like me but if you are reading and are also like me, then here is a message for you.
My school counscellor told me "there are three types of people in this world...... one, people who like you, two people who don't like you and three, people who will never like you". Thus, it is up to YOU to decide who to give your attention to. I honestly still have to learn this. I have tried to fulfil everyone's expectations, yet it has only ever caused me stress and nothing else.
So just remember, living up to standards and expectations is not necessary. You will lose your true self. Just take a deep breath and keep doing what YOU want to do, not what SOMEONE ELSE wants you to do.
You are your own soul and your own mind.
Please do share your feelings about this issue (you can stay anonymous)
Lots of love,
Pritika xo
